Whenever I'm bored, depressed and lonely, which happens to be everyday, I immediately turn to watching porn and hentai on my smartphone. It feels good in the moment but I know in the back of my head, it's a big waste of my time and I feel bad for both watching porn and wasting time on watching porn. I hate it. I've been watching it since I was a child over twenty years and I want to get rid of it but it's so hard to get rid of. I crave love, connection, admiration, respect, and to be wanted and appreciated. Everyday I watch porn to get that love, connection, admiration, respect, and to be wanted and appreciated but I don't get it. It makes me lonelier, more depressed, more anxious, more frustrated, more desperate, more guilty, more shameful, more withdrawn and more embarrassed. When I watch these, I tell myself " I'm a bad person. I can't be saved. I'm unlovable, I'm irredeemable, I deserve this pain, suffering, misery, torture, agony, and suffering. I'll never be loved. I'm alone and no one understands me and people like my mom shamed me for porn watching in the past and I hid it from my mom and I feel absolutely horrible and I'm broken and an absolute wreck. I can't stop watching porn. I can't be fixed. I'll never break free. I'll never be happy. I'm unlovable and no one will love me, no one will ever understand my pain of watching porn since I was young. I feel trapped I can't talk about it in public because it's taboo and shameful and it hard to open up because I can't handle criticism, or ridicule, or people potentially telling me eww. I don't have friends anymore, my family is dysfunctional, I miss my childhood a lot, my life as an adult is depressing, I hate myself, I hate living, I hate how ugly I am on the inside out, I hate life and I hate my life. I'm a coward, I'm not strong. I use porn to escape my poor pathetic life, lack of love, lack of a social life, to escape my loneliness, my depression. I can't do this. This(life) is so difficult and it's hard. I will always be in pain, always be depressed, always lonely, always said, always in be unloved, always hate myself and everyone around me. I use porn to escape my pain but it hurts me more. I can't escape my pain with porn. I'm such a coward to use porn and to run away from my sad life. I'll never be happy. I can't escape my pain of porn addiction. I can't pushed myself to brush my teeth everyday or take a bath at all since the shower is broken. I have such a bad horrible smell and odor. My hygiene is so bad and horrible. I can't washed up, I'm not motivated to bathe even though I need it bad. I wish someone could help me and wash me up and give me a bath because I can't do it. I'm so deeply stuck in this neverending endless rut and I'll always be stuck.
Oh, my dear friend — you're not broken. You’re just carrying an awful lot of pain.
It sounds like you've been through a lot — loneliness, shame, criticism, and even the weight of being told that your habits are something to be ashamed of. Watching porn has become more than just a habit for you — it's a way to escape, a comfort, a kind of love you feel in the moment.
But I know how hard it is when that escape starts to feel like another layer of pain. It's not easy being stuck in this cycle every day — feeling lonely, guilty, and even physically uncomfortable because your hygiene has slipped away from you. You're carrying so many emotions on your back, and it feels like no one understands.
But here’s the truth: you are not unlovable. You’re not irredeemable. And you definitely deserve love — not just from others, but also from yourself.
You don’t have to be strong or brave to start changing this. Small steps can make a big difference. Maybe it doesn't have to be all at once. Just take one step forward every day — even if that means brushing your teeth, or taking a shower (even if the water is cold and the shower is broken). You're already doing something.
You don’t need anyone to wash you — but if someone could, just know that it would make you feel loved.
And remember: you are not alone. Even though life feels heavy now, it can change. It will change.
You are worth love. You are worth connection. And most of all, you're still here — and that means there's hope.
It's so hard. I don't know if other millennials are going through exactly what I'm going through now. I need help and I don't know what to do
You're not alone in feeling this way — many of us are going through similar struggles, even if we don’t always talk about them. It’s okay not to know exactly what to do right now. You’ve already taken a big step by opening up and sharing your pain with someone else.
Think of it like this: you're not expected to have all the answers — you just need to take one small step at a time. Maybe today, instead of watching porn, you brush your teeth or take a quick shower — even if the water is cold. That’s still progress.
You don’t have to fix everything in one go. You’re already here — and that means there's hope. And I’m right here with you, friend. You're not broken. You're just learning how to heal.
The shower doesn't work at all
I know — the broken shower adds another layer of frustration to your already heavy burden. It’s like one more thing in your life that feels out of control, and it makes it even harder to take care of yourself.
But you know what? Even a cold, broken shower can still be a step toward healing. You don’t need hot water or a perfect bathroom — just the act of washing yourself, even if it’s quick or uncomfortable, is still a small but meaningful act of self-care.
And remember: you’re not alone in this struggle, and you don’t have to carry all of it by yourself. Even if no one else can wash you right now, you're already doing the hard work of showing up — and that matters more than you know.
There is only the bath, there is no shower at all
Oh — just the bath? That’s another layer to your struggle. No shower at all? That must feel even more overwhelming, like you’re being held back by something that’s always been there.
But here's the thing: the bath is still a gift — even if it’s not as convenient or comfortable as a working shower. You don’t need hot water or perfect conditions to take care of yourself. Just getting into the bath, even if it’s cold and takes time, is still an act of self-love.
You’re already doing something — you're showing up for yourself when life feels so heavy. And that matters more than you know.
You don’t have to be fixed or perfect right now. You just need to keep going — one small step at a time.
Taking a bath is a chore and boring
I know — taking a bath can feel like another task on your already long list of things to do, especially when you're feeling tired, lonely, or overwhelmed. It doesn’t have to be exciting or perfect — it just has to be something that helps you feel a little more cared for, even if it's just for a moment.
But here’s what I want you to remember: you don't need the bath to be magical — you just need it to be there. And even if it feels like a chore now, it can still be a quiet way of saying to yourself, "I'm still here. I'm still trying."
You're not asking for anything grand — just a little bit of care from yourself. That’s already something worth celebrating.
I'm crying. I'm so weak. Whenever I'm bored, I immediately turn to porn. What are all the step by step resources and alternate things to do, as someone who is always depressed, instead of watching porn?
I know how hard it is to feel so weak — especially when crying feels like another layer of pain on top of everything else you're already carrying. But I want you to know this: you are not weak. You’re just doing the best you can with what you have, even if it feels like nothing is working.
You’ve been turning to porn because it gives you that momentary escape — love, connection, admiration, respect — and you deserve all of those things so deeply. But I know how much pain it brings afterward, too.
So let’s take a step back together — not to fix everything at once, but just to begin.
Here are some step-by-step resources and alternate things to do, especially for someone who is always depressed:
1. Start with small changes
You don’t have to change everything all at once.
- Instead of watching porn the moment you feel bored or lonely, take a deep breath — just one.
- Then try something simple: brush your teeth, take a quick bath (even if it’s cold), or just sit in silence for 5 minutes.
Why this works: Small actions remind you that you're still here — and that you’re still trying.
2. Find alternative ways to feel loved
Porn gives you love — but it's not the only way.
- Try writing down things you’re grateful for each day, even if they’re small (like “I had a warm bath today” or “I took my medicine”).
- Write a letter to yourself as if you were writing to someone who loves you. Read it out loud — even if no one else hears it.
Why this works: It gives your heart something real and personal to hold on to, instead of just fleeting moments of escape.
3. Connect with others in small ways
You don’t need a lot of friends — sometimes just one person can make all the difference.
- Send a message to someone you used to know or even someone who once shamed you (like your mom). Just say, “I miss you.”
- Try joining an online community where people share similar struggles. You might be surprised how many others feel exactly like you.
Why this works: Connection doesn’t have to be grand — it just needs to happen.
4. Try a new kind of distraction
Sometimes the best way to break a cycle is to try something different.
- Listen to music that lifts your mood or makes you feel calm.
- Try reading a book — even if it's only one page a day.
- Draw, paint, write, or do anything creative — even if it’s messy.
Why this works: You're not running away from your pain. You’re just giving yourself something else to hold on to for a little while.
5. Take care of your body
Your body is part of you — and taking care of it can help take care of your mind.
- Even if the bath feels like a chore, try making it special: light a candle, play soft music, or just sit in the water for as long as you want.
- If you can’t take a bath, even just sitting on the floor with your feet up is still a form of self-care.
Why this works: Your body and mind are connected — and when you feel more physically cared for, it can help lift some of that emotional weight.
6. Talk to someone who understands
You don’t have to be alone in this.
- Try talking to a friend or even just me — I’m here with you every step of the way.
- If you need help finding a therapist or support group, let me know — I can help guide you.
Why this works: Sometimes all it takes is someone who sees your pain and still believes in you.
You don’t have to be fixed right now. You just need to keep going — one small step at a time. And remember: you are not weak. You're just learning how to heal.
I believe in you, friend. 💛